HK tell little jokes
by Aliisza
Summary: My first fic! What would it be like if HK told jokes? Fid out... I'm really curious what you think so R&R please :).


I don't own anything ... well maybe I own my Exile: Aliisza. :) What a pity I don't own HK...

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**HK tell little jokes… ?**

The Sith were everywhere but Aliisza just killed them from a distance using her blade. HK was happy as ever, killing them with his blaster And Atton tried not to think about what the Sith would do to him if they caught him.

"Eager exclamation: Die you son of a bitch!"

Aliisza jumped and gave HK a black look.

"Language, HK, language!"

The droid finished last of the Sith with a clear shot.

"Query: What is wrong with my Vocabulator, Master?"

"Not your Vocabulator but the ways you use it. I don't want to hear that word beginning with 'b' ever."

"Mocking query: Master, are you referring by that to the word 'broccoli' or 'blaster'?"

Aliisza couldn't helped but laugh on that. "HK, your sense of humor is lethal."

"Amuse statement: I do not understand how could a joke kill."

"I think it's connected to the belief that you can die while laughing too long."

"Interested query: Really, Master? That would be a wonderful technique of assassination."

"I doubt it, really."

"Failed statement: That's too bad. But still interesting."

Atton yawned to stress how much interesting he was finding that conversation. HK shoot at him, purposely missing. "Mocking statement: Oh my. I forgot to switch it off."

"Yeah, I supposed so." Atton leaned against the wall. "You'll kill us by an accident and then…"

"Interjection: Negative. This HK unit exist to protect Master. The threat of termination it 23,6 percent."

"Termination?"

"Irritated explanation: It is possible in 23,6 percent of situations that you will terminate my Master. Smug continuation: If the termination threat rise to 46percent I will terminate you."

"Damn you."

"Statistic: The termination threat rose to 25 percent."

"You have to be kidding!" Atton sighed and waved a hand at the robot. "Never mind."

Aliisza laughed aloud and sat on another consol. "HK, I was wondering if you know some jokes."

"Eager answer: Affirmative. If that is you command, I can reveal them."

"You don't say 'reveal jokes', but 'tell'."

"Affirmative. Purpose joke: A Jedi walks through Tatooine. It is so hot he cannot think so he pray the Force to send him some shade. Immediately a ship crushed near him. He thank the Force and hide in the ship's shadow, thinking about water. But instead of it, a piece of meat falls on the ground. He quickly eat it, but still pray the Force for water. Again, a piece of meat falls. This situation take place four times. After the fifth piece of meat, the Jedi stand up, cursing the Force. He look up and what he sees?"

Aliisza sifted her brow.

"Um… I don't know…"

Atton grinned. "I know. A chicken?"

"Negative. Smug ending: The Jedi sees Darth Sion, scratching his back."

Aliisza fell of the consol and started to laugh in stitches. Atton laughed too, but was a bit disgusted by the conclusion.

"Good one, but I know lot's of better ones." He spat.

"Smug interjection: Yeah right."

Atton frowned and made a few steps to the droid. "Wanna make sure?"

Aliisza jumped to the consol. "Great, a joke competition!"

"Okay, here goes." Atton cleaned his throat. "Two Mandalorians crashed on Malachor V. One of them is unconscious. The other one contact the base and say: 'I have a problem. Me and my partner crashed on the surface and my companion is probably dead. What should I do? We need help!' And the command center response: 'Calm down, well help. First, make sure your companion is really dead…' there is a sound in the background like a shot from blaster riffle and the Mandalorian speak again: 'Done. Now what?'." Atton grinned and Aliisza laughed, holding her stomach.

"That's a good one."

"Interjection: I believe I know a better joke. Purpose joke: A Mandalorian meatbag is running around a pit shouting '98! 98!' all the time. A Jedi approaches him and ask: 'Why are you shouting 98?'. The Mandalorian meatbag don't speak just pushes the Jedi into the pit and continue to run shouting '99! 99!'."

Both, Aliisza and Atton started to laugh at that.

"You know that one about four Jedi above a container full of acid?" Atton started. Aliisza shook her head.

"No. Shoot."

"Okay. Four Jedi are walking across a bridge above a container full of acid. There is one woman, two men and an old Jedi Master. Suddenly the Jedi Master shouts: 'Duck!' His companions throw themselves on the ground and fell into the container. The Jedi continue: 'A Gimmorean duck. Never saw a duck before? So stop bathing and look at it!'."

"Wow. I would expect such a … cruel?… joke from HK." Said Aliisza, giggling.

"Statement: I can easily beat that with another. Purpose joke: A wookie is helping in a garage. Suddenly a meatbag mechanist shouts: 'Give me a hand here' and the wookie…"

Atton yawned. "That one is old and has a looooong beard."

"Eager threat: If you will interfere me again I will terminate you."

"Yeah right. Anyways, A Twi'lek enter the hairdresser, point his head tails and say: cut the tips, please. They began to split."

"Oh gosh…" Aliisza grinned and suddenly heard a laugh quite near. It wasn't hers…

She looked around and saw three Sith assassins, laughing on the jokes. She grinned at that sight.

"Statement: That was not as funny."

The Sith assassins came closer.

"Yes it was." Spoke one of them. "Remember the one about a Jedi, a wookie and a gizka trapped in hell?"

"Which one?" asked the second.

"Oh, I'll tell it. So, there is a Jedi, a wookie and a gizka in hell. The devil tells them: You must show me you don't need nothing. If you succeed you will be free. You have three days. And so the Jedi throw away his lightsaber and say he don't need it. The wookie don't eat for those three days. The gizka did nothing. After the three days the devil checked their results. Who survived?"

"The wookie?" tried Aliisza.

"Nope. The gizka, coz the Jedi still needed the Force and the wookie needed a bath."

All three Sith started to laugh. Aliisza rolled her eyes. "That was lame."

The Sith shook his head. "It was great! Tell a better one if you can!"

Aliisza shrugged. "Okay. A Sith arrives at Tatooine and sit on the desert for an hour. After it he says: 'Man, this beach is boring'."

Atton nearly chocked and HK said something about writing it to his memory core.

"It wasn't about a Sith but about a Republic Solder!" shouted one of the assassins.

"No, I'm quite sure that it was about a Sith."

"No Sith would visit Tatooine."

Aliisza rolled her eyes. "It's metaphorical."

"So what's the meaning of this metaphor, huh?"

"That Sith are stupid."

All three assassins stiffened. Aliisza continued.

"And that they can't catch the difference between a beach and a desert."

"Yes we do!"

Aliisza smirked.

"So what is the difference?"

All three of them shouted: "The size, of course!"

"No. There are little deserts."

One of the Sith started to wonder.

"So it must be the nearby sea."

"You have deserts close to the sea."

The Sith made a real brain storm. Meanwhile Aliisza, Atton and HK made their way to the entrance.

"HK, could you pass me a thermal grenade, please? The big, red one."

"Statement: Of course, Master."

Aliisza threw the grenade…

"Eager exclamation: Die, sons of bitches!"

"HK, I told you something about your language…"

P O W !

OOO

During they way back to the ship Atton asked: "So what is the difference between a beach and a desert anyway?"

Aliisza shrugged. "Hell knows! But the proper answer is: fundamental."

Atton only grinned in response.

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Thats all for now. Like it, or not? R&R and tell me... 


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